Photo: Arshi Zama |
When the Coffee Table is the Only Thing That’s Stationary
The only difference between us
is that you live in a house whose tentacles
I have coveted and wished to make my own
I break commandments 10/10 to avoid feeling lonely
stow away the broken parts among my clothes
then blame my mother for her audacity to glue
them back together into something sensible:
a heavy downpour during the monsoon, maybe.
Sometimes, a face stares out from the arterial roads
of a mirror above the bathroom sink
I choose to keep my head down for fear of what
might greet me through the countenance of possible futures
I nurture their unsightly stems in white pots
cast a fishing line into their rippling waters…
I look to my cats for the wisdom of living in the moment.
Permanence is something I cling to, in my own way:
I plant my feet across from you on our coffee table
with my back resting against a shaky plastic chair.
Absences
It is not that the curtains miss
the hand that pulls them apart
or the rim of a cup the
lips that drink its content
It is not that there is a depressed
space on the bed where the cat sleeps
or that the laundry folds in awkward
positions than what it is used to
It is this and so much more—
the rearrangement of thought, of body
around a territory filled with only air
the counting of things as they should be
the strangeness of what was home.
The Quiet
(for the women in Manipur)
You need to be quiet in order to write.
You need to hold the pauses between breaths
and exploit them for what you know they do not say
poetry is breathing when the musician plays a note
that just about touches the threshold of sound
and, in so doing, awakens the mind to silence.
Today, a woman mourns for her daughter.
You just about catch the wind in her cry
enough to hesitate calling it poetry.
The Nation is a Construct
It’s about the Spirit and in whose body it resides
I know this because father said so
our hands clasped together after fumbling
for words through onion-skin pages
we learned of Abraham whose descendants now
etch streaks across the desert to contain their souls
then I met you and thought, for a moment, how you
and yours proclaimed freedom over lands
within the borders of a woman whose
milk tasted of bitter turmeric and spices
you called her MATA, elsewhere an
acronym for keeping out undesirables
I dreamt of the progenitors of this law,
white and absolute in their claims to rule
so I asked who is this for: the earth,
the sky, the seas, the soil on which I stand?
maybe, being mortals, we place
limits to what is actually eternal.
The Paradox of Nothingness
To write about it would mean
to give to it what it is not:
the magic swirl of letters across
a page that swallows universes
the many loops that mean only to
hang tender adjectives through a hole.
The Japanese have turned it
into an art eating under
pink blossoms that, decades
ago, adorned fighter jets.
These same petals shroud our air,
makes the quiet between us riotous.
We watch children release
its helium-filled symbols
into a dispassionate, blue sheet;
their curly lines receding into wind.
While biographers among us arrest its
sense over and over with black ink.
We grow inarticulate
trying to capture its mood
among a singer’s lyric, claiming
her intonations as our own:
in the backseat of a car, her
heartaches are hers no longer.
Maybe, we could solve
its arithmetic by drawing 0s
where our breath should be
only that would imply life
imperilled though it may be
to the soul of a poem
that says and means nothing.
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