Edvard Munch, Christmas in Brothel
Silences
On this evening out, all the elephants in the
room are on my shirt (the one from Kochi).
The principal character in the documentary
we catch insists it's not loneliness that ails
him, and quotes Sahir for good measure:
ये दुनिया अगर मिल भी जाए तो क्
The mild hives of silences that break out
between us over the course of the evening,
thrive through the courses of sushi, bao and
baklava. And upon return, when we are invited
to join for a midnight cup of tea, you do, I do not.
Lost in translation
Buffeted by waves of Malayalam
Background music of late youth
Its whorls and whirls
unsympathetic and seductive
You one beat out of step
in this jostling milieu
of sea of brethren
Rush of sound, salt of expression
An endless beat till somebody
kindly, belatedly
tugs you into the flow
flinging some English rope
Empathy
Empathy visits me.
Solid ground on which,
just yesterday, I had stood and flayed
a lover alive, as it were, starts shaking,
and then falls out from under me entirely.
It's a matter of shoes, she says calmly;
with unflappable poise despite my flailing.
Every time you feel the fever of certainty
rising: change into someone else's shoes.
It's an inconvenient regimen, she
knows. But wouldn't I rather walk
an uncertain, middle ground in pinching shoes
than mournfully hang later from grim what ifs?
Women texting men they like
One feeling forward
Two thoughts back
To cushion
or not to cushion
is never the question
Reaction bridling reflex,
well flexed
In the mild mannered
in the not so mild
Most permutations,
almost same equation
How to occupy space?
To not fall over oneself
in such haste
and recede, cede,
accommodate
Habitually, willingly,
indulgently, resignedly
All of which amounts
to, yes, the same thing,
more or less, in essence
Taking up less space
LESS SPACE
As if words could not also be fists
with title from The Friend by Sigrid Nunez
Every three months, or so
You orbit back to me
Bile from the aftermath of the last —
yet another — goodbye,
I regurgitate and spit this time,
barely waiting for pleasantries
These interspersed goodbyes
several now
Each lacerating
Generate a heavy headwind
of recriminations
to cleave through
In a light tone
coasting over
what must have been
difficult days, weeks, months
You catch me up
on the highlights
Life in index cards
Time and again,
in your wake I'm left
pared to my poverties
Arguments winded
Certainties tottering
Heart doubled over
On elbows and knees
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