New | Poetry | Alex Stolis

Mark Bryan, Feeding the Baby, via https://www.newtimesslo.com/

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Do dogs bark? Is coal white? Does a baby cry? Can a hat speak?

Open borders mean crime, 

means human trafficking. 

Human trafficking -- mostly women. 

Okay? 

Human trafficking. 

This is like prehistoric -- 

a word like that, "trafficking." 

Who would think? 

There's more human trafficking 

in the world today 

than there ever has been in history. 

Who would think that? 

You think of it almost as an ancient term; 

it's not.

Because of the Internet, 

all over the world, 

it's happening. 

Mostly women. 

*Donald Trump Addresses the Faith and Freedom Coalition in Washington - June 26, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Do hens lay eggs? Is a stone soft? Is one more than seven?

Let's do it again, 

didn't work out too well, 

let's do it again. 

They want a do over. 

No president should ever 

have to go through this 

again. 

It is so bad for our great country. 

Our hopes, the great hopes. 

Our patriotic movement 

has been under assault from 

the very first day. 

We accomplish more than any other president 

has in the first two and a half years 

of a presidency and under circumstances 

that no president has had to deal with before, 

because we did in the middle of the great 

and illegal witch hunt, 

things that nobody have been able 

to accomplish, 

not even close.

*Donald Trump announces his 2020 candidacy at a political rally in Orlando June 18, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Do the land and sea look just alike? Are some books black?

He said, "I'm from San Diego.", 

you believe that? 

He said, "I'm from San Diego 

and we need that wall." 

And you know in San Diego, 

as you know, 

it's going up 

and now it's up 

and here's what they did in California, 

they wanted the wall 

so badly, 

and so I did it, 

and I said you know, 

maybe I shouldn't do it politically.

Let them ask, 

I did it, 

and now it's beautiful 

people not coming in, 

it's beautiful, right? 

*Donald Trump Holds a Political Rally in Montoursville, Pennsylvania - May 20, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Does water run uphill? Are stamps used on letters? Does 100 cents make a dollar?

Now, if this weren't the greatest thing -- 

I really believe that it's been said, 

but make America Great Again, 

Ronald Reagan used seldom 

Let's Make America Great, 

close but not the same. 

Let's, apostrophes, 

you don't want the apostrophe, 

it's too complicated, 

doesn't work, 

but Ronald Reagan was good. 

He said Let's Make, 

but he didn't use it 

and we use it a little bit.

*Donald Trump Holds a Political Rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin - April 27, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Are we sure we know what events will happen next year? Do ships sail on railroads?

So you'll tell me because you'll clap. 

So we have the greatest theme, 

I think, really of all time, 

"Make America Great Again. 

"MAGA"

"MAGA"

"MAGA 

Country", right? 

MAGA Country. 

How about the guy from Chicago? 

The actor that nobody ever heard of, 

nobody ever -- I said, 

"Who the hell is that?" 

He said, "He got taken out 

by MAGA Country." 

I said, 

"What the hell was that?" 

I guess that's a hate crime, right?

*Donald Trump Addresses a National Republican Campaign Committee Fundraiser - April 2, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Do stones float in the air? Can meat be cut with a knife?

I got it approved. 

And I didn’t want 

to get it approved 

for a certain reason, 

because I thought somebody 

treated me very badly. 

Very badly. 

Don’t get that vote 

very often. 

And I said, you know, 

I don’t want to get it. 

Then I get a call 

from a friend of mine, 

and he's in the oil business.

*Donald Trump Delivers a Speech at the 2019 CPAC Convention in Maryland - March 2, 2019

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Are ledges common in mountain districts? Does success tend to bring pleasure?

Da Nang province. 

When I was climbing up the hill 

with Da Nang, 

I was climbing up the hill. 

And my soldiers were going down 

left and right. 

He never saw Vietnam. 

He was in the Reserves. 

Not bad, 

Reserves. 

He never saw Vietnam. 

He was climbing up the hill. 

Bullets left and right. 

My buddies going down. 

And then he wants honesty.

*Donald Trump Holds a Political Rally in Fort Wayne, Indiana - November 5, 2018

Donald Trump takes the Deven’s Literacy Test

Are diamonds mined in mid-ocean? Is misuse of money an evil?

This was a few months ago. 

He was a 3, 

and I gave him a nice shot 

and a nice little tweak, 

bing-bing, 

and he went from 3 

to like 20-something. 

And then I gave him 

my full and total endorsement, 

and he's now leading by, 

like, 19 points. 

And that election is next week, 

leading in the primary. 

He's a good man. 

And so many others.

*Donald Trump Holds a Political Rally in Charleston, West Virginia - August 21, 2018